Think About It
by syriala
Summary: Written for this prompt on Tumblr: Sam finding out Tony's head was the first one Wanda messed with between the Avengers, and maybe getting a little mad that the others didn't seem to notice at all? Perhaps he asks Tony what brought on Ultron, and as Tony explains the vision he had, he realizes it feels similar to what Steve and Natasha described on what they saw.


Tony and Sam had been together long enough for Tony to realize that Sam was up to something.

"What is it?" he asked into Sam's neck, when they settled down for the night and Sam's arms tightened around him.

"It's nothing," Sam reassuringly said but Tony could tell that he wasn't all that honest and that alone set him on edge. Sam was always honest with him.

"It's something," Tony said, really worried now, and he got up, out of Sam's reach. "What?"

"You don't want to talk about this and I won't ask. Especially not now. This is something that should be talked about during the day, not now."

"But you want to ask," Tony mumbled and Sam sat up, to pull Tony back into his arms.

"I do. I want to understand. But now is not the time."

"You're worrying me," Tony admitted. "You might as well just ask now, because this night is not going to get any better from now on."

Sam gave him a brief smile, before he flopped down and dragged Tony with him. He arranged them so that Tony's face was tucked into his neck again and he soothingly stroked Tony's back.

"Okay, I'm gonna ask now, but I need you to know I don't do it to blame you, I'm not doing this to be mean. I want to understand."

"You couldn't even be mean if you wanted to be," Tony joked, because this was quickly getting too heavy for him.

"You know that's not true," Sam mumbled into Tony's hair, and he was right. He could be mean, especially on days Riley still haunted him, but somehow it never hurt Tony like it did when someone else was mean to him. Sam still radiated calm and love during these days, and it took the sting out of his words every time. But Sam never believed Tony when he told him that.

"What are you going to ask?" Tony questioned, because he knew they could argue about this topic the whole night without reaching a consens.

"Why did you want to build Ultron?" Sam asked without further preamble and Tony tensed. "I know you don't want to talk about this and I understand, you don't have to, but I don't understand what brought it on," Sam continued. "It was so long after the Chitauri invasion, two years after the Mandarin and before you started it you destroyed one of the last Hydra bases, caught their last leading scientist. I don't understand why you would wake up one day and decide Ultron needs to happen. So I'm guessing that wasn't how it went; there was a reason for it, wasn't there?"

Tony tried to bury himself further in Sam's neck but there was only so far he could go. He tried not to think about his dead teammates, Steve's voice blaming in for not doing more and Tony felt himself shudder.

"It's okay, you're safe here," Sam mumbled into his hair and Tony tightened his grip on him, afraid that he would leave just like the rest of them.

Tony's breath started to come quicker and quicker and he was aware that he was getting himself into a panic attack but there wasn't anything he could do. Luckily for him, Sam could do a lot more. He sat them up again, putting one hand on Tony's neck, put Tony's hand on his own chest and then he breathed calmly and evenly, until Tony could match him.

"This is why I didn't want to talk about this during the night," Sam told him and brushed a kiss on Tony's forehead.

"Not gonna be better during the day," Tony managed to get out.

"We don't have to talk about it," Sam reassured him yet again and Tony managed a weak chuckle.

"We're damn well going to talk about it. I did not have a panic attack for you to drop it now," Tony said vehemently and Sam kissed him again.

"You want to lie down again?" Sam asked him and Tony nodded.

They laid down yet again, this time forehead to forehead and Tony took another deep breath before he started to tell Sam all about the vision he had.

It was hard, he felt like he was right back on the rock, Steve's lifeless body underneath his hand and more than once his voice broke on the words.

But Sam held him through all of it, gently encouraged him, and Tony managed to get through it like that.

When he was done, Sam was quiet for a few moments and Tony began to feel worried. What if Sam was going to judge him for what he did? They had never talked about the Ultron mess, Tony had never tried to explain himself to anyone but Fury, and Sam had even more reason to judge him harshly.

Sam and Steve were good friends, best friends even, and Tony knew that Sam was loyal to him. It was just how Sam was and Tony was okay with that, but sometimes he feared that Sam gave too much to Steve, that there was not enough left for Tony himself.

What Sam eventually said caught Tony completely off guard.

"Why didn't you tell them that Wanda got to you as well?" he asked.

"Because she didn't?" Tony shot right back and Sam shook his head.

"I talked to Steve and Natasha about the 'visions' they had and it sounds familiar. Of course Natasha saw the past but Steve also had a 'what if' scenario and it sounds a lot like your vision."

"But Wanda wasn't there," Tony protested and Sam shrugged.

"Are you sure about that?" Sam asked. "You didn't know what she could do then. She could have snuck up on you."

"I don't think so," Tony muttered.

"Would you be okay if I asked her?" Sam questioned and Tony looked down, avoiding Sam's eyes.

"You're too considerate," Tony whispered and Sam pressed their foreheads back together.

"It's your decision," Sam told him and Tony nodded.

"You can. But it won't change a thing."

When Tony had allowed Sam to ask Wanda he hadn't thought Sam would do it during breakfast, with everyone present, but he should have guessed.

Even if Wanda didn't have a hand in this, no one knew about Tony's vision and it would explain a great deal about his actions. Tony knew that Sam would want the others to understand what had driven Tony; they never really talked about Ultorn after everything was done and Tony knew that the team still blamed him. If Sam saw a chance to put that right, he would definitely take it.

"So, Wanda," Sam started while he buttered his toast and Wanda's head snapped up. "I was wondering if it was you who gave Tony that vision in the Hydra base that brought on Ultron."

Wanda quickly looked down at her hands and that really told Tony all he needed to know.

He barely registered that everyone was quiet all of a sudden and then Wanda nodded.

Tony felt a rush of _something_ before relief set in. He had been played, just like the others.

"It was me," Wanda admitted and Tony expected Sam to go back to his breakfast like nothing had happened but he faced Steve now.

"And you never once stopped to think about asking for Tony's reasons. You all laughed about him when he brought up the Chitauri yet again," Sam pressed out and his voice was laced with anger, which surprised Tony.

"There didn't seem to be a reason for his actions," Clint threw in and Sam's head snapped around to him.

"So you believe Tony just woke up one day and thought 'Today I'm gonna make a murder bot to protect us all'? You really thought this came out of the blue?"

"We were a bit occupied after Ultron crashed the party," Clint said and Sam's hands clenched.

"You mean you were quick to place the blame." He nodded towards Bruce. "No offense, doc, but you were with Tony on this one; you also didn't ask, but you actively helped him. Everyone seems to forget that."

Bruce nodded at that. "None taken, you are right."

"Sam, how could we have known?" Steve asked Sam suddenly and Tony almost expected Sam to back down now.

"Because you should know better, Steve," Sam hissed at Steve. "You have spent so much time with Tony, even told me you were wrong about him more often than not, and yet you didn't even stop to think to ask for reasons?"

Steve squirmed under Sam's glare and it was Tony who broke the tension.

"Sam, it's fine. They are not to blame," he mumbled and Sam turned towards him.

"But neither are you, sweetheart. And they need to know that."

"I think they got it," Tony told him and laid a hand on Sam's arm. "Can we go to bed now again?" he asked, acutely aware that his hands were trembling again.

Sam had noticed of course, and was quick to take Tony's hand in his. "Of course, love," he said and pulled Tony up.

They left the table, not looking back at their team mates; Sam obviously intent on letting them stew in the mistakes they made and while Tony wanted to scold Sam for this, he was also unbelievable grateful.

They buried themselves under blankets again, Tony save and secure in Sam's arms, and the trembling subsided quickly.

"Thank you," Tony mumbled and Sam pressed a lingering kiss to Tony's temple.

"Every time. They can't treat you like this."

"As long as you don't treat me like this, I can live with it."

"But you shouldn't have to," Sam vehemently said and Tony was flooded with so much love he could barely hold it in. And he decided not to.

"I love you," he said into Sam's skin and he heard Sam inhale sharply.

"I love you too, Tony," Sam whispered and Tony knew that he would forever be safe with Sam.


End file.
